Grace is Gone

This is a drama film which portrayed a father who cannot bring himself to tell his two daughters that their mother, a soldier in the American Army, has just been killed on a tour of duty in Iraq. This film is interesting and meaningful as I saw determination, struggles and love in a father that tried to keep the news and brought his daughters for a short trip.

            Stanley, the father plays a main character in the film. He lives with his two daughters while his wife, Grace, serves in Iraq. I sympathized for Stanley when he received the news of his wife has been killed in combat. In fact, he pretends there is nothing happened in front of his daughters and he dreaded having to tell his daughters of their mother’s death. Stanley struggling with his emotions, he cannot cry in front of the kids. After watching this film, I asked my spouse, how if one day he has two daughters and he lost his wife? I was shocked with his answer; he wants he wife but not daughters. I believe it is very important for a man to have his wife to stay together with him in a marriage. A partner plays an important role in our life that always support, motivate, experience, and inspire each other in every moment of life. I believe it is very hard for a father to bring two daughters alone without the supportive from his spouse. After watching this movie, I realised it is very hard for a single parent to bring up their kids. Stanley keeps the secret of the kids’ mother death and he has to smile in front of them. When he decided to bring his kids to Enchanted Gardens, I can see it is a short reality escape trip.  When they arrived at their grandmother house, Stanley’s brother, John is the only one at home. He encourages three of them out for lunch (it is actually a dinner time) which obviously that he is totally sad and cannot differentiate the time. He finally breaks down and mourns Grace. I relieved when he finally crying out because I cannot imagine how painful and sad Stanley is and I feel him, I know Stanley miss Grace a lot but the truth is, Grace dies.

            Stanley daughters named Heidi and Dawn. Their personalities are totally different. According to birth order theory, Heidi as an older sister plays a more independent role, mature, and responsible. Despite two of them miss their mother a lot, Dawn’s personality is totally opposite of Heidi. Throughout the trip, Heidi did call the school and ask for homework. She is independence enough to settle down all her stuff which she is responsible with even though she is only a 12 years old girl. She takes her responsible to take care of her younger sister as well. When Dawn was missing in a shopping mall, she was worried; she was the first person who realised the missing of Dawn instead of her father. When her father, Stanley is talking with Dawn in a small toy house, she did not disrupt their conversation. I can see a strong girl who is protective her family. When she heard the news of her mother’s death (which Stanley finally chose to tell the truth to his daughters after the trip), she acted like all the kids, she cried and does not believe this is real. Heidi wrote a eulogy and read in her mother’s funeral. My reflection in this film is, me as an older daughter in my family, I always take my responsibility in my family. I want to protect my family all the time and I have learned to cherish every precious moment with them. I have also learned to appreciate every sacrifice given by my parents, and one day, I am going to give them a better life. 

Sybil

Sybil is an American mystery drama film which has talked about a girl named Sybil who is having a psychological disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). This movie is interesting as there are many surprises when more and more personality came out from the main character. I did not expect Sybil suffers from DID but other psychological disorder because the beginning of the film did not seem Sybil is having DID until the moment when Dr Wilbur found out Vickie, who called her at late night, which she is actually one of Sybil’s personality. Meanwhile, the ending of this film is awesome because Sybil finally recovered from DID with the help of Dr Wilbur.

 

            The story began with Sybil as a school teacher, who seemed very lovely and warm individual but started to act weirdly when she saw a white hair old lady at the park. When she saw white hair, she automatically think of her mama, who constantly abused her when she was young. When this scene was shown without telling the reason why Sybil scares of white hair, I thought Sybil was kidnaped during her childhood, hence, she revived her bad and fearful childhood memory, but surprisingly, her mother was the one who abused her by kicking, hitting, and locked her in a wheat bin in the barn. After that incident, she is given a neurological test by Dr Wilbur, a psychiatrist. Sybil admits having blackouts and fears and these conditions are getting worse. Dr Wilbur theorizes that the incidents are a kind of hysteria, all related to a deeper problem. She asks Sybil to return at a later date as she wanted to know more about Sybil. Throughout the whole treatment process, Dr Wilbur is a good and responsible psychiatrist who does really care her client genuinely.     

 

           According to DSM 5 (APA, 2013), there are criteria for DID.  The first criterion of DID is the disruption of identity characterized by two or more distinct personality. Sybil has several personalities with her, such as, Vickie who knows everything about Sybil; Peggy, the little girl; Vanessa, who plays the piano; Marcia, who is suicidal and wants to kill Sybil; and Ruthie, the pre-verbal baby role. The moment when Vickie called Dr Wilbur at late night, I truly believed that she is Sybil’s friend, I did not expect Vickie is actually one of the personality came out from Sybil until Vickie goes to meet Dr Wilbur and tell her everything about Sybil. The interesting past in this film is every personality of Sybil will introduce themselves to Dr. Wilbur. 

 

           The second criterion is the recurrent gaps in the recall of everyday events or traumatic events that are inconsistent with ordinary forgetting.  Sybil could not remember what is happening during her blackout period, she forgot what she has done when her other personality came out. Nonetheless, there are many incidents have proved that Sybil could not remember anything about what other of her personality did. Sybil did not know that she can play the piano well; she was so surprised when Dr. Wilbur played the recording tape (when Vanessa is playing piano), she cannot believe that she can play Mozart pieces. When Marcia wanted to jump from the top of a high building, fortunately, she has been saved by her neighbour. She could not remember this has happened after her turning back to Sybil. Basically, she could not remember anything that her other personality did. The following criterion is the symptoms caused clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. It can be clearly seen that Sybil does not have a job and she has no friend accept the boyfriend in a neighbour.

 

I personally sympathized with Sybil because she did not grow up in a healthy family. Sybil's father denied his wife abuses Sybil even thoughhe knew his wife is diagnosed with paranoid Schizophrenia. My definition of healthy family is defined as children could have to be raised up in lovely, warm, peaceful, and harmony family. There should not exist of child abuse, and parents should always space out their time for accompanying their children. I sympathised Sybil experiences since she is young. It is not easy for an individual to suffer DID alone without the support of family. 

The Sixth Sense

The Sixth Sense is an American horror-thriller film. This film tells the story of Cole who is able to see and talk to the dead and a child psychologist who tries to help him.

            Cole is a character which his experiences have sympathised me. He is a kid who always lives in fear. He did not tell anyone about his secret in which he can actually see dead people around him all the time. When he met those dead people, he will go and hide in his little camp with many figurines inside which he has stolen from a church. I was worried him when he is facing with those scary moments himself. I meant, how can a little boy face with those horrible scenarios alone even me myself cannot take this alone. Cole faced with horrible experiences, even though he is afraid, he did not tell his mother and others because he knows no one will believe him. I still remember one of the scenes was the moment when a teacher is teaching history in the class. They talked about the history of the school and Cole was responded aggressively by shouting “shuttering Stanley”. I believe Cole was not shouted at the teacher but the ghost he had seen, even though I cannot see the present of it in the film. Everyone takes Cole mentally went wrong. No one likes him and even the invitation to a birthday party of one of his friends was actually invited by the friend’s mother. I sympathised Cole when he cannot tell everyone his secret while he is facing with those people who dislike him and tried to bully him as well as his mother, Lynn who tried to help him.

  

As a psychology student, I do not believe there are ghosts around us because again, this cannot explain by science. Cole did not believe anyone but he finally trusted Dr. Malcom and he decided to tell his secret to Dr. Malcom. Dr. Malcom did not trust him initially, but finally, believe the truth that he can see ghosts. The interesting part is the moment when Dr Malcom found Cole has the hallucinations and need to be hospitalised, he first response was he cannot help Cole. I believe, this will be the first response of every psychologist as he or she cannot experience the same feelings and situations of Cole. In fact, psychologists are more believed in something that can be explained by science. When disbelief turned into a belief, Dr Malcom found out there might be present of ghosts as Cole said when he heard the previous recording with another patient. Dr Malcom asked Cole try not to be scared of ghosts, they may need help from him. The first time when he tried to face a female ghost, he was afraid. He finally calms down himself and tries to communicate with “her”, actually “she” needed his help to clarify the truth that has caused “her” death. He went to the patient room (the room she stayed before) and took a box from “her”, he passed it to “her” father in the funeral and all the people were shocked when they realised “her” mother was the killer. Cole felt relaxed and he started to face with ghosts with courage, and he finally decided to tell his mom the truth that he can see ghosts and his grandmother always visits him.     

The most unexpected part in this film was the moment when Dr Malcom only realised he has dies. Throughout the film, no one realised, perhaps everyone has forgotten the death of Dr. Malcom in the first scene when he was gotten shot from Vincent, his old patient, after watching all the interesting parts about Cole.

Whale Rider

Whale Rider is a New Zealand- German family film. The story line is about Paikea, a twelve-year-old Maori girl who wants to become the chief of the tribe but the tradition lead to her grandfather Koro believes this role is only reserved for first-born son in a family. Paikea struggles in earning his grandfather’s acknowledgement and to prove worthy of herself to be the new chief in the tribe.

            Throughout the film, we can see sexism happened in this environment. Koro, as a current chief in the tribe is very concern about the gender of first born baby of his son. Unfortunately, Paikea’s twin brother died which has disappointed Koro’s hope in finding new chief. Koro did not allow his son, Porourangi to name his daughter ‘Paikea’, which is the name of the whale rider (their descendant) just because Paikea is not a male.  Even though he has changed his attitude towards his granddaughter afterwards, when it is time to find new chief in the tribe, he changed his attitude towards Paikea. During the training period for all first born son in the tribe, Paikea did not allowed to join the training just because she is not a male.

            We can also see the principle of gender stereotype apply in Koro’s traditional thought. When Koro’s started a cultural school for first-born son on the tribes to teach them the traditional customs and qualities of a chief. Koro’s ignored Paikea’s ability to be a chief because she is a female and traditionally, only male is allowed to be the chief. I still remember one of a scene, when Koro, Paikea and her grandmother is having dinner together, Koro’s are angry, and he asked Paikea to clean up the floor because this is female role in the cultural.

            Nontheless, cognitive dissonance, the feeling of discomfort experiences by Koro when he has different beliefs in finding out the new chief at the same time. This can be semmed in Koro's character obvilusly when he knows Paikea is a destined leader of the tribe but he ignores the ability of Paikea and looks for other first-born son as next chief in the tribe. When he realised Paikea won in the random fight with a seemed talented leader male, he is very angry and asked Paikea to apologise until she mean it. We can see Koro ignores Paikea talented leadership happened here. Another scene of cognitive dissonance is the moment when he thought there must be a young boy who can find the rei puta, the whale tooth, that he threw inside the sea. He is very disappointed and depressed with this evidence. The moment when he witnessed Paikea save the dying whale, she can connect with the descendant, and the scene when his wife gives him the rei puta that has found by Paikea, he only admit Paikea as the next leader in the chief.  

.           The interesting part of this film is the scene when Paikea can connect, and call the descendant. To me, this scene cannot be explained by science as I have never seemed this happened in my life. Overall, this is an interesting movie when we can see the struggles met by Koro in finding next chief by denying Koro’s talented ability and Koro’s challenges in proving herself can be the chief in the tribe.  

Forget Paris

Forget Paris is a romantic film which has talked about the intimate relationship between an NBA referee, Mickey and an independent working woman whose lives are interrupted by marriage, Ellen. The story began in a restaurant in New York City. Andy prepared to introduce his good friends to his fiancée, Liz. He began to tell the love story of mickey and Ellen while they are waiting for the arrivals of others.  

  

            The components of intimacy, passion and commitments seemed in the relationship between Mickey and Ellen. They fell in love with each other in Paris after they have met several times. Ellen brought Mickey to walk around Paris and they had enjoyed time spent together. They danced, kissed and hugged in Paris. Mickey spontaneously decides to delay his flight return to the United States as he did not want to leave Ellen. Mickey is forced to return to the United States as the NBA season begins. Their intimate relationship has experienced long run of challenges but their love toward each other has let them stay together. 

            According to Festinger (1957), cognitive dissonance happens when individuals’ belief is incongruent with the action performed.  Mickey and Ellen had showed an example of how cognitive dissonance influenced their relationship after they married. Mickey likes his job as an NBA referee but his wife, Ellen wanted him to quit his favorite job so that he can have more companion time for her. After resigning his job, mickey found another job, salesman. Though Mickey has more time to accompany Ellen, he is unhappy with his job. Problems began when cognitive dissonance is happening among them. They quarrel with each other and Mickey decided to go back to his original job after the advice from his friend.  After getting back to be NBA referee, the intimate relationship has some changes. Finally, they choose to compromise by respecting each other’s personal life and they end up with the happy life.   

After marrying, they faced with a lot of challenges like different working time, lesser companion, and the involvement of the third party. They always missed communicating with each other which they did not actually mean with what they had said. They had experienced the changes after marrying. They struggled a lot with the changes but they chose to compromise. After watching this movie, I learned the important of communication between couples which can really affect the intimacy between each other. The honeymoon period does not last forever, and I learned how to compromise and be patient in an intimate relationship when there are new changes happen.